On Day 13,
the topic discussion centered on our bodies being living sacrifices to
God. Although it may appear that today's
passage may not currently touch everyone in your family as it is directed toward
the married person, it is still worth consideration.
I Corinthians 7:3-4—"The
husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to
her husband. The wife's body does not
belong to her alone but also to her husband.
In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but
also to his wife."
Now you may
be asking, "How in the world am I supposed to talk about that to my
children?" We will get to
that. However, let us start with
you. Physical contact between a man and
a woman is to be limited, if not strictly guarded, before marriage; yet after
marriage, not only are a husband and wife allowed physical intimacy, they are
commanded to have physical intimacy. A
married person's body is not his or hers alone any more. It belongs equally between the spouses to be
enjoyed by both—a gift to be appreciated and cherished. Going beyond the fulfilling of a physical
need, this trusted intimacy helps bond the couple together in an exclusive way
that no others are allowed to trespass.
Married life can be hard. Have
kids? Then it is even more
stressful. Sometimes the bond created in
these private moments is the only earthly thing that keeps a couple talking to
each other. Thus, if you are married,
your body is not really your own.
What about
the single adult? For those comments,
check in tomorrow. Back to the married
person: Does this then mean your spouse
can do whatever he/she wants to do
with your body? Let us look at a couple
of other passages.
Ephesians 5:28-29—"In
the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body,
but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—"
Although these
particular verses address husbands, I believe it can be applied to wives as
well. You are to lovingly respect and
care for your spouse's body as much as you do your own. There is no room for abuse or unreasonable
demands in the relationship. The example
given relates husbands' caring for their wives the same way Christ cares for
the church. That is a selfless
example. For more details on Christ's
love for the church, read all of chapter 5.
Matthew 7:12—"So in
everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up
the Law and the Prophets."
Not only
does this passage guard against abuse (or anyone's perception that abuse is
acceptable), but also it brings in the requirement to listen to and respond to
your spouse's wishes and/or desires for and/or against a particular behavior. Don't we all want to be heard and given
proper consideration? Then that is what
we should provide to our spouse, which sometimes means not getting everything
we want.
In no way
am I advocating anyone to be a "doormat!" Yet, when this type of consideration is
given, no one should be put into a position where he or she is feeling someone
is taken advantage of him or her.
Your turn: Can you discuss this topic in detail with all
your children? Of course, not. You would scare your younger children, and
your teens would probably hide under their covers pretending to be asleep until
you go away. On the other hand, you can
discuss the need for your children to be prepared to consider the desires and
wishes of their future spouses and to be willing to not get what they want the
way they want it all the time. You do not need to give sexual references.
Stick with
something that is relevant to them, such as picking out a movie to watch
together. You know your kids have fought
about that! As you referee the next
movie fight and help teach them problem resolution skills, remind them that
these skills (including putting others first) will be valuable all of their
lives, especially when they get married.
They are not going to always want to watch the same movie that their
spouses want to watch. It is not just
one spouse's choice; it is a choice shared—a choice that belongs to both.
Later, when
they are married, they will be able to make the comparison between sharing
movies and sharing their bodies all on their own—and also hopefully with help from
their daily Bible reading. See, the
attitude of not being the sole-owner of our choices (bodies) does touch your
family even now.
If you would like
more ideas on helping your children (and yourself) develop a Biblical worldview
or to find out how to win a Wal-Mart gift card, go to the 31
Days Giveaway (Intro. Part II) post for more Touching Families blog
links. If you want to check out other 31 Days' topics, see The Nester.
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