Touching Families

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Day 21— Sowing of Seeds and Spreading of Truth, Part II

Some soil is ripe for reaping.

If yesterday's Bible passage about the farmer sowing his seed touched your family with confusion, don't worry. It confused even Jesus' closest disciples. This is His explanation:

Mark 4:14-20--"The farmer sows the word. Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times what was sown."

Although Jesus was talking about a spiritual spreading of God's Word, the basic idea can be applied to other knowledge as well. Truth (or knowledge) was being spread freely and openly to everyone. However, not everyone was ready or able to accept that truth (or knowledge) and do something with it.

In contrast, in our society, education has become a type of "god." As a whole, we work to get information "out there," so everyone can have successful, productive, and wise lives. Politicians bank on this type of promise to get them elected—and it usually succeeds in getting them into office, but not necessarily on having a "smarter" public. Then as a society, we are confused when we do not get the results we want, and we are disappointed in our "god" of education.

Preparation needs to make place. If the ground has not first been "prepared," it will not be the proper soil setting for the information to take root and be productive. The passage in Mark is not describing how to get the soil ready for the seed, but it does describe what happens to seed (information) that lands in areas not prepared for growing seeds.

Your Turn: In essence, giving your children lots of information is not the key to raising God-fearing children. First, it matters what they are being taught. Second, it matters if their minds and hearts have been prepared to hear and accept the Truth. So, what can you do?

Pray for your child on a daily basis. Only the Holy Spirit can truly prepare your child's heart to accept God's Word and to be able to a produce spiritual "crop." However, God can still use you in the process. Share your love of God and His Word with your children. Let your life hold evidence of this love—personal Bible study, the types of conversations you have, reading the Bible to and praying with your children, and your general living according God's plan. Yet, the most important element is your personal relationship with your children. You may never come close to being a Bible scholar—or an intellectual. You may have as much trouble navigating through the Old Testament as you do the local mall. And despite all that, you can produce a spiritual crop with your children because the close relationship they have with you will reveal, model, and encourage an attitude and life that is truly God honoring. In turn, they will be able to repeat the same process with their children. Isn't that what it's about? Not just touching your current family with a Biblical perspective but also touching your family in future generations.

If you would like more ideas on helping your children (and yourself) develop a Biblical worldview or to find out how to win a Wal-Mart gift card, go to the 31 Days Giveaway (Intro. Part II) post for more Touching Families blog links. If you want to check out other 31 Days' topics, see The Nester.

*All verses quoted are from the New International Version: THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Day 20--Sowing of Seeds and Spreading of Truth, Part I

The world says that, when good information is made available, people will take advantage of it. All you have to do is tell people what they need to hear, and they will follow through.

What does the Bible say? Today we are going to look at the first half of the parable of the sower, and tomorrow we will look at its meaning and how it may touch your family.

Not all ground is suitable for seeds to grow.

Mark 4:3---"…A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell among the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times."

"…The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables so that, 'they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven."

Although the people hearing these words directly from Jesus' mouth were familiar with the sowing of seeds and having the agriculture process touch their families, they were confused as to what He was saying about truth—the truth of God's word. Fortunately Jesus explained its meaning to His disciples so that we, too, could have a chance to comprehend it. Tomorrow we will look at His explanation.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Day 19--Difficult Choices with the Right Answers

I am not sure why wanting to let someone else live can make some people so very angry. I am not sure why attempts to help the helpless survive can stir some people to protest and complain. Yesterday I left off "Your Turn" in my blog entry, so let's do that now and let you evaluate how this subject touches your family.

Your Turn: You cannot teach your children to value innocent life if you do not. This does not just include the pre-born. What about someone who has already "lived a good life" and now needs a great deal of assistance in old age? What about the handicap person—whether he or she was born that way or had an experience that caused the disability? What about the mentally challenged? What about the homeless?

Let's say you do value the sanctity of life, including all of the examples above. How do you transmit that to your children? Let them see you care. Sweetly help the old lady who cannot open the door to the grocery store because it is too heavy. Be patient with your neighbor's adult son who has the understanding of a four-year old. When your unmarried niece announces that she is going to have a baby, point out to your children that, although her pregnancy does not fit God's direction for intimate relationships inside of marriage, she made a very good choice for not hurting the baby. Then be there to support your niece whether she decides to raise the baby herself or to give it up for adoption. Let them see you give time and/or money to organizations or individuals who reach out to those who might fall into the categories above, such as a crisis pregnancy center. Compassion in action can go a long way.

You might think I am so full of crap that you will never read anything at Touching Families again. You may think I have not gone far enough on this subject. Yet, you may be feeling a little confused. Despite our desire to have a clean, tidy world of easy decisions, real life is messy. Sometimes the desire to protect life does not seem to have an easy answer. I do not promise to have all the answers.

For example, if I had conceived a baby as a result of a rape, I would find it difficult to carry that baby term. At the same time, it is not the baby's fault. Just because I was the innocent victim of an assault, it does not mean I would be guilt free if I caused a deadly assault on a different innocent victim—my unborn baby. Basically, difficult answers do not have to result in wrong answers. By teaching your family how to decide on the right answer to this difficult question, then you are also helping them create the integrity to make the right choices through all the difficult situations that touch their lives.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Day 18—The Most Important Choice

The world says that a woman's freedom to make choices is one of her most valuable assets, and if her ability to make choices is every stripped from her, then she is reduced to no more than a slave or possession. Has this viewpoint touched your family?

I am a strong supporter of choices. As a mother of seven girls, I am very mindful of their ability (or potential lack of ability) to make choices. However, my support for "choices" does not always stem from positive motives. Too often it is rooted in selfishness. Isn't it easy to demand your way in the name of "I have a right to make my own choices"?

Maybe you have not fallen into that trap, but I have. It can be a difficult to balance teaching my daughters to value and use their opportunities to make choices and teaching my daughters to put consideration for others above their own needs or desires. If they never do anything for themselves, they can lose touch of who they are. If they never put the needs or desires of others above their own, they will live shallow, unfulfilled lives. Maintaining a balance can be a struggle.

Yet, in some situations, the right choice is not a difficult one to figure out, just sometimes difficult to execute:

Your daughter wants to sit in a certain chair at dinner. Should she be allowed to push to the floor anyone in her way?

Your daughter wants to eat "now" and not wait in line. Should she be allowed to confiscate another diner's food and eat it?

Your daughter wants the scholarship that will guarantee that she gets to go to the college she thinks she "needs" to go to, but she only got the runner-up position. Should she be allowed to hire a hit man to get rid of the one standing in her way of what she wants?

Your daughter is pregnant and does not want to take a detour in her plans to accommodate a baby, not even long enough for him or her to be born and put up for adoption. Should she be allowed to hire a hit man to get rid of the young, pre-born baby standing in her way of what she wants?

What does the Bible say:

Psalm 139:13-16—"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Although I could list more verses that expound on the beauty and value of life, the blessings of children, and God's sole sovereignty over the length of a person's days, they will not increase the meaning of this beautiful passage.

Each life is designed and handcrafted by God himself. We can never escape his watchful eye, not even in the womb. God is a God of life.

Recently, I participated in a Life Chain with part of my family along a bypass around a park. It was not a controversial setting. No signs had graphic displays of abortion. Words of love and life were on the signs. Despite the drizzling rain, we had some by-passers honk and give us a thumbs-up. Others chose to show us a different finger. In the past, I would have been insulted by the second gesture, but this year I felt a deep sadness for those people. They do not understand the full impact of "choice" when it comes to taking the life of someone who has done no harm to anyone. It breaks my heart when some people would rather have someone else die than to be inconvenienced. They just do not understand.

My daughters understand. They understand the mourning of innocent lives. My miscarriages brought heartache to everyone in my family despite my attempt to calmly explain that sometimes it just happens. They understood there had been a life that was now no more. Even my youngest family members, who were too young to understand (or not yet born), were later touched by these losses when they learned that they had had siblings that did not live past the womb. After mourning these losses for which they had no choice, they cannot conceive of a truly good reason for someone to purposely end the life of a pre-born baby. Life is precious and should never been taken away from someone else. Isn't that ultimately a person's most important freedom—the most important choice—to live?

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Day 17—Transformed from Spooky to Comforting

Comforting or Spooky?
It proved to be based on love & truth,
so it was a good place to be.

"The Lord Almighty has sworn, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand." Isaiah 14:24

Does this verse touch your family in a way that is comforting or spooky?

For me, it's comforting to know that God's plans will be accomplished. My plans are swayed, sidetracked, and thrown off course so often that I sometimes wonder why I even bother making plans. Unlike the frailties of man's shortsighted plans, God's plans will be accomplished. His purpose will endure.

At the same time, as I look at the craziness of this world—the injustice, the confusion, the suffering—I want to ask, "Is this part of God's 'plan'? Is his purpose actually coming to fulfillment? If so, is this as good as it is going to get?" Maybe you have wondered the same thing. Your kids will probably ask the same questions someday. What are you going to say?

Your Turn: You can start with the fact that God's Word has proven itself to be true over and over, and not just in the life-changing attitudes and behaviors. It has also proven itself to be true in relationship to archaeology and science, such as the "paths in the sea." Thus, we can confidently have faith that the Lord's well-laid plans will be accomplished..

I John 4:7-10—"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

When the craziness of this world touches your family in a way that does not make sense, be reassured that God's plans are motivated by unselfish love. That transforms Isaiah 14:24 from being a little spooky to being thoroughly comforting.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Day 16--Does the single adult have full ownership of her own body?

"Dad says I can get out
when I turn 35--maybe."

Yesterday, the topic centered on how a person's body belongs to his or her spouse as much as it does to himself/herself*. Another question suggested yesterday may touch your family in a bigger way: What about the single adult? Does the single adult have full ownership of her own body?

Putting aside the knowledge that your body is a gift from God and you are a steward entrusted to care for it, the conclusion still comes down to the fact that your body is not really your own either. The majority of people will get married. Thus, your body also belongs to your future spouse—not to a dating partner, not even to a fiancé—but to your future spouse.

What do you want your future husband doing with his body before marrying you? How many people do you want him to be intimate with physically before joining you in bed on your wedding night? (If you are a man, what do you want your wife to be doing with other men?) Shouldn't you try to behave the way you would like your husband to behave? Despite what you see in sitcoms or t.v. dramas, casual sex is not a painless, victim-less activity.

Your turn: Are you saying: "That sounds fine and dandy, but why should I have expected that from my husband before we got married when I could not do the same for him? I was well beyond any type of sexual purity. And who am I to expect a "pure" lifestyle from my children as young adults when I failed myself?"

Our standards and goals should be based on the guidelines given to us by God, not based on what we have done or not done in the past. He loves us and wants the best for us. He can see and understand way beyond anything we will ever be able to comprehend. At the same time, we are born as imperfect sinners. Even if you have given your life to Christ, you will still make sinful choices either by accident or on purpose. Yet, God is greater than any sin we may commit. He is faithful to forgive those who repent, and possibly just as important—He is able to heal us when we fall.

No matter what you have done in the past, your next choice can turn you toward the way you should go. That, my friend, is the first Biblical truth from today's discussion to teach your children.

Your children are going to sin. When they do, forgive them and guide them toward making right decisions. Remind them that God will forgive them, too, when they repent. At the same time, He asks us to forgive others, including future spouses. Although you can begin teaching positive attitudes toward sexual purity before your children are taught anything about sex, you can give them more details as they are ready. Specifics can be discussed in this blog at a later time.

Right now, concentrate on teaching them that (1) God's laws are good and should be followed even if they do not make sense to us all the time, (2) they can be forgiven when they mess up, and (3) they should forgive others as well. This foundation can help your family members get through many of the messy situations that will touch them, including decisions they make regarding their bodies.

*I do not like playing the "his/her" game, and since most of the people who comment on my blog are women, I'm just going to use feminine pronouns unless I am specifically talking specifically about male person.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Day 15—Whose body is it? (Stewards Only, …Part II)

On Day 13, the topic discussion centered on our bodies being living sacrifices to God. Although it may appear that today's passage may not currently touch everyone in your family as it is directed toward the married person, it is still worth consideration.

I Corinthians 7:3-4—"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife."

Now you may be asking, "How in the world am I supposed to talk about that to my children?" We will get to that. However, let us start with you. Physical contact between a man and a woman is to be limited, if not strictly guarded, before marriage; yet after marriage, not only are a husband and wife allowed physical intimacy, they are commanded to have physical intimacy. A married person's body is not his or hers alone any more. It belongs equally between the spouses to be enjoyed by both—a gift to be appreciated and cherished. Going beyond the fulfilling of a physical need, this trusted intimacy helps bond the couple together in an exclusive way that no others are allowed to trespass. Married life can be hard. Have kids? Then it is even more stressful. Sometimes the bond created in these private moments is the only earthly thing that keeps a couple talking to each other. Thus, if you are married, your body is not really your own.

What about the single adult? For those comments, check in tomorrow. Back to the married person: Does this then mean your spouse can do whatever he/she wants to do with your body? Let us look at a couple of other passages.

Ephesians 5:28-29—"In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—"

Although these particular verses address husbands, I believe it can be applied to wives as well. You are to lovingly respect and care for your spouse's body as much as you do your own. There is no room for abuse or unreasonable demands in the relationship. The example given relates husbands' caring for their wives the same way Christ cares for the church. That is a selfless example. For more details on Christ's love for the church, read all of chapter 5.

Matthew 7:12—"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

Not only does this passage guard against abuse (or anyone's perception that abuse is acceptable), but also it brings in the requirement to listen to and respond to your spouse's wishes and/or desires for and/or against a particular behavior. Don't we all want to be heard and given proper consideration? Then that is what we should provide to our spouse, which sometimes means not getting everything we want.

In no way am I advocating anyone to be a "doormat!" Yet, when this type of consideration is given, no one should be put into a position where he or she is feeling someone is taken advantage of him or her.

Your turn: Can you discuss this topic in detail with all your children? Of course, not. You would scare your younger children, and your teens would probably hide under their covers pretending to be asleep until you go away. On the other hand, you can discuss the need for your children to be prepared to consider the desires and wishes of their future spouses and to be willing to not get what they want the way they want it all the time. You do not need to give sexual references.

Stick with something that is relevant to them, such as picking out a movie to watch together. You know your kids have fought about that! As you referee the next movie fight and help teach them problem resolution skills, remind them that these skills (including putting others first) will be valuable all of their lives, especially when they get married. They are not going to always want to watch the same movie that their spouses want to watch. It is not just one spouse's choice; it is a choice shared—a choice that belongs to both.

Later, when they are married, they will be able to make the comparison between sharing movies and sharing their bodies all on their own—and also hopefully with help from their daily Bible reading. See, the attitude of not being the sole-owner of our choices (bodies) does touch your family even now.